“Begin challenging your assumptions. Your assumptions are the windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while or the light won’t come in.”
—Alan Alda
 

ou can find wisdom in anything; because when something is said out of context, you can make a case for it being true. But context is everything. Without having all the information, you can’t make a centered decision.

My teacher used to express her frustration with the monks when one of us would show up to receive guidance from her. We’d ask her how to proceed on a particular issue and leave out some important detail. The monk would explain everything, she’d make a decision, and then the monk would say, “Oops. So sorry. No, I’m sorry…that would not be a good course of action because I forgot to tell you about this detail…” With any luck, that would solve it. But I’ve overheard several conversations in which the poor monk continued to say “Oops!” only to have my teacher grit her teeth and wonder if the whole story would ever get out.

I can see the same phenomenon occur on the other end—with the monks. Guidance would get pulled out of context, and suddenly we would start saying, “But the guidance I received was always to use two pans in the oven.” Now the monks have inadvertently created a rule out of a contextual incident that may or may not apply to the current situation. And we’d continue to use it.

It could be months down the line when my teacher shows up in the kitchen and asks me, the Cook, “Why on earth are you using two pans in the oven?” I’d shrug my shoulders and explain to her that the guidance I received was that this is how we’re doing it from now on. By the look on her face, I could tell that this was the wrong answer (and another out-of-context guidance decision made into a rule that leads to breakdowns).

Assumption, lack of clarity, and failure to understand the context is what creates sabotage in communication. Often, a simple understanding of the principle behind the guidance could fix everything. For example: Two pans in the oven when you’re attempting to achieve x. Now, with the reason and the underlying principle from which the decision was made, everyone can move forward confidently. We now know how the guidance was arrived at and when it is applicable.

This is the practice and the aim we’re striving for. It’s what happens when we speak from Center and understand that context is important as we avoid assumptions, which then lead to breakdowns.

Conscious, compassionate, communication makes for clarity. A wonderful principle to practice.