Written Works

The 4 Key Components of Self-Compassion


 

T

he 4 Key Components of Self-Compassion
 
1) Learn how to direct your attention.

Without this fundamental skill, there is no way to cultivate a deeper relationship with yourself. When you’re not in the present, your thoughts and attention wander off and get lost in the dark alleys of your mind. Lost in the past, the future, what’s wrong with others, what’s wrong with you, what you need more of, what you need less of, etc.

2) Understand the voices. What they say and how they work.

The misunderstanding that the voices in your head are “you” is what keeps suffering in place. You are guided, misled, tricked, distracted, and bullied into believing delusional thoughts that do not belong to you. You have been conditioned to believe that they are important to heed and that they are telling the truth. But they’re not.

3) Keep your attention on being your wise, compassionate guide.

Every one of us can access our authentic self. This is the part who can see the big picture, knows what would help, lives in insight, is wise, loving, caring, and compassionate. We typically only permit this part to show up for others we care about (rarely ourselves). Those in the helping industries like nursing, coaching, and mentoring access this part to do their jobs.

4) Practice this relationship.

Once you understand the distinction between the voices in your head and your authentic self, what’s left is to practice keeping your attention on your authentic self repeatedly. Never allow it to engage with the sabotaging, repetitive, debilitating, and harmful relationship with the voices. And if it does, consciously, compassionately, bring it back.

To help you experientially understand this, I have created a very short (5-minute) guided visualization called, “Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Compassion.” It’s the smallest taste of what’s possible for you if you were serious about developing a better relationship with yourself.

Please take the time to stop, put on some headphones, close your eyes and listen to this guided visualization.

 

In lovingkindness,


If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness (Volume One).

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness (Volume Two).

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness (Volume Three).

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, A Shift to Love: Zen Stories and Lessons by Alex Mill.

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Meditation and Reinventing Yourself.

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, The Zen Life: Spiritual Training for Modern Times.

 


  Alex Mill trained in a Zen Buddhist monastery for nearly 14 years. He now offers his extensive experience to transform people’s lives and businesses through timeless Zen principles.

He is the creator of three powerful 30-day programs, Heart-to-Heart: Compassionate Self-Mentoring, Help Yourself to Change, and Your Practice, as well as the online Zen meditation workshop, Taming Your Inner Noise (now offered as The FREE Zen Workshop).

Alex has also written seven books on Zen awareness practice. The latest are entitled A Shift to Love: Zen Stories and Lessons (Get it for FREE here) and the 3-book series Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness.

He is a full-time Zen Life Coach who offers guidance and life-changing support to his private clients worldwide. Book a call.