“Receive a guest with the same attitude you have when alone. When alone, maintain the same attitude you have in receiving guests.”
— from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones by Paul Reps and Nyogen Senzaki
 

n the teachings of the Buddha, there are such astonishing assertions like “there is no self and other” and “everything is one.”

Years ago, I had the opportunity to see this lesson for myself at the monastery. Tired from a day’s work, I would go home and face my uninsulated plywood hermitage in 20-degree weather. I did not have an ounce of energy left in me to start a fire in the stove.

The voices would say, “It’s only for you, and you really don’t feel like it.”

Years later, I was blessed with the opportunity to care for a big, beautiful German Shepherd.

Now that I had him to care for, somehow I discovered the miraculous willingness to start fires in my hermitage. Of course, I enjoyed them too.

Somehow I mustered up the energy to do this consistently.

For him.

Alone, I didn’t matter. But because of him, it was okay to make an effort.

This process sometimes showed up after leaving the monastery, when I thought it would be fun to cook something new for myself. Since I would be preparing food for myself, I’d hear the same voice say, “It’s only for you. Why go through all that work?”

It still takes a lot of self-mentoring to break through the self-hatred. To practice seeing myself as “a someone.” Someone worthy of kindness and compassion.

To take a stand against the dismissive voice and say, “Yes, in fact, I do matter!”

That’s the lesson I have been learning. And one that I hope you take to heart as well.

Only when you get it that you matter can you live as though what you do matters. So participate. Even if you’re the only one who shows up.

In the end, you’re all you’ve really got.

YOU are counting on you.

And you count!