Written Works

Two Zen Stories with Coaching Lessons


 

T

he Blockhead Lord†

Two Zen teachers, Daigu and Gudo, were invited to visit a lord. Upon arriving, Gudo said to the lord: “You are wise by nature and have an inborn ability to learn Zen.”

“Nonsense,” said Daigu. “Why do you flatter this blockhead? He may be a lord, but he doesn’t know anything of Zen.”

So, instead of building a temple for Gudo, the lord built it for Daigu and studied Zen with him.

 
Commentary:
Flattery can get you everywhere, except in Zen and coaching.

Coaching is about honesty. It’s bold, expansive and service-oriented. It risks hurting the ego’s feelings. It does not help clients to do the dance of the ego with them: Hiding what’s uncomfortable, avoiding what’s painful, indulging what’s delusional, and lying about what’s obvious.

However, the world suffers the dance of the ego anyway. Because it’s polite. It’s safe. It’s comfortable. It gets you “likes.”

Who will call it the way that it is? Who will take a stand for the truth? Who will express compassion?

Zen and coaching are about directly pointing at and crushing everything the ego cherishes. Because the ego is what gets in the way of transformation and freedom.

In my experience, to help someone move beyond the ego is true love. And a client who understands this will respect it.
 

A Cup of Tea†

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”

“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

 
Commentary:
You want to understand. You want to learn. You have been taught that wisdom comes from accumulating information. But it doesn’t.

When you’re full of preconceived ideas, notions, beliefs, systems, formulas, tactics and strategies — wisdom has no place to land.

Your full mind is always searching to see how what you are learning FITS with what you already “know.” It discards what it doesn’t like or agree with and clings to what it loves and cherishes. So there is rarely an opportunity to receive anything fresh or transformational. Instead, the same myopic structure is rehashing information processed through it eternally.

Wisdom, on the other hand, arrives when you are here in this moment — open to the mystery that is Life.

A Zen student and a coaching client understand that for wisdom to be received, one’s heart, mind, and spirit must be empty.

In this way, the beginner is the true Master.
 

 
†These two stories are from Zen Flesh Zen Bones: A Collection of Zen and Pre-Zen Writings compiled by Paul Reps and Nyogen Senzaki

 

In lovingkindness,


If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness (Volume One).

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness (Volume Two).

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness (Volume Three).

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, A Shift to Love: Zen Stories and Lessons by Alex Mill.

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, Meditation and Reinventing Yourself.

If you enjoyed this article, you can find a version of it in my book, The Zen Life: Spiritual Training for Modern Times.

 


  Alex Mill trained in a Zen Buddhist monastery for nearly 14 years. He now offers his extensive experience to transform people’s lives and businesses through timeless Zen principles.

He is the creator of three powerful 30-day programs, Heart-to-Heart: Compassionate Self-Mentoring, Help Yourself to Change, and Your Practice, as well as the online Zen meditation workshop, Taming Your Inner Noise (now offered as The FREE Zen Workshop).

Alex has also written seven books on Zen awareness practice. The latest are entitled A Shift to Love: Zen Stories and Lessons (Get it for FREE here) and the 3-book series Living the Zen Life: Practicing Conscious, Compassionate Awareness.

He is a full-time Zen Life Coach who offers guidance and life-changing support to his private clients worldwide. Book a call.