“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.”
―Alan Watts
 

piritual practice is supposed to help. It’s not meant to create suffering. If it’s creating suffering, you can know that the voices in your head have taken hold of a spiritual teaching and have turned it into a weapon they’re using against you.

The difficulty spiritual teachers face is there is no way to ensure students will truly understand the principles they are transmitting because there’s always a possibility that the voices in the listener’s head will interpret that information logically and apply it in a way that satisfies the voices’ agenda. It’s the voices’ default filter to turn the essence of the indescribable into a fixed understanding. As we were growing up, we had to make hundreds of assumptions about the way life worked to survive, so it’s easy to see why we do it. The difficulty we have with assumption today as adults is we do it so unconsciously that we don’t even realize we’re assuming (such is the nature of assumption – you can’t know you’re doing what you don’t know you’re doing!).

Take this innocent inquiry I received, “Why is our past an illusion? I do understand that you shouldn’t live in the past, but I have beautiful memories of my mum and dad who both passed away there. I also have very painful ones of things that made me who I am today. I don’t grasp the concept of it being an illusion that I’m holding on to. They were my parents! I want to remember them. It was the suffering caused by their passing that helped with my spiritual growth. Please help as this causes tremendous conflict within me. Thank you.”

The voices have turned the teaching into a way to keep the memory of this woman’s parents “off limits.” Not only that, but they have added the element of “it’s wrong to reference the past.” I project that this is what creates the conflict. In other words, she loves her parents and appreciates the spiritual growth she received after their passing AND remembering them is somehow “wrong” and “just an illusion” to feel bad about.

The past, in the way Alan Watts is speaking of it, is an illusion because it’s not happening right now. A memory, or a mental movie of the past, is all we have currently. As time goes on, that memory is subject to deterioration (and often interpretation!).

As a general principle, I encourage people to stay HERE in the present because, in my experience, rummaging through the mind can lead to suffering. I say CAN because it’s not a given. You CAN consciously and intentionally reference something from the past and, with compassionate self-mentoring, stay wary so that you can support yourself stay grounded in consciousness. Consciousness is key here because all it takes is a simple step down Memory Lane to slip into the dark alley and parallel universe of Misery Lane.

All talk about the merits of past, future and present aside, my biggest encouragement is don’t fall for the trap that practice is a rule governing a rigid way to live. At best, a teacher’s words are merely guideposts to help you inquire within. To do so without suffering and without judgment. Even the Buddha said don’t take my word for it. Look to your own experience. Ultimately it will be up to you to decide what you’re willing to entertain and endure. If it makes you happy to remember beautiful memories, please do so for as long as you’re willing to. When your experience reveals to you something different, then perhaps it’s time to move on. But only when it’s clear there’s no other way you wish to live. Not because you “should.”