“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”
—Deepak Chopra
 

’m a huge fan of finding out how I typically handle a situation and then trying something different. Not because there’s anything necessarily “wrong” with the way I’ve been doing it, but because choosing something else – anything else – opens me up to insights I may not have had otherwise.

Imagine it is like living in a small room that’s well decorated, comfortable, and familiar: You don’t ever have to leave because it’s so perfect. But at the same time, the adventures and the expanse of the universe are unavailable to you as long as you remain. It’s the trade-off.

That’s what conditioned mind is like. It reviews the past and figures out what has “worked” or been “successful” (read worked and successful as “survived,” because “success” can include choosing to remain a victim as well as choosing to be right all the time. It doesn’t have to be “positive”). Then it keeps everything the same to ensure your identity stays the same. That’s why someone will choose to walk around with a chip on his shoulder looking to be upset by anything for the sake of being upset all the time. Or why someone will continue to insist on doing everything alone rather than enroll help from others – even if it means failure. It doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how being trapped within the structure of conditioned mind works.

It’s also why change can be so threatening. Because the voices will scream “You will die if you do that!” at the mere thought of change.

At the Zen monastery, we were constantly supported to challenge conditioned mind. By training there, we agreed to have the rug pulled out from under us in any given moment. It was like living in a constant state of improv where nothing was certain. The schedule would suddenly change, or I would be asked to facilitate group as I walked into the hall, or we’d have our jobs switched, and roles reversed from following to leading or leading to following. By relinquishing all illusions of control, we were taught flexibility, impermanence, and disidentification in real-time!

There were no vacations from being present. Alertness, readiness, and attentiveness were our 24/7 default modes. In this way, we were better able to call upon the parts of us inside who were the most appropriate to handle a given situation. Is Superman needed? How about MacGyver? Or Seinfeld? Or maybe someone more sensitive? Or creative?

I remember walking into the meditation hall as miserable as Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves only to be tapped on the shoulder and handed a note to lead the discussion for the group that night. I snapped into a different identity instantly as though a bucket of ice water was dumped onto me. I bowed, folded the note into my pocket, and assumed the role of the wise, compassionate, focused facilitator. Yoda took the seat in front of the hall, and I led the group from Center.
So what can you do? Likely you’re not living in a Zen monastery where there’s this kind of support for transformation. The first step I would encourage you to take is to identify how you always do something: Do you always play second fiddle? Do you consistently insist on getting your way? Do you repeatedly seek others’ validation before making a choice? Or do you make rash decisions without a pause? Whatever that is, find it and jot it down on paper.

Then consider how you would like to practice switching that up, just to see what happens. Perhaps it can be with something small at first. If you always fear to ask others for assistance, maybe ask a grocery clerk for help finding something in the store. Or ask a couple to take your photo for you while you’re out.

The point here is to start breaking up the old Karmic patterns so that something new can spring forth. It won’t always be easy. In fact, expect resistance. But any movement you make of any size can start the ripple effect of reinvention to take hold of your life, so you can shape it into something you choose instead of something you settle for.