“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
—The Talmud

n my work with clients, the prevalent way I’ve seen the voices in their heads cause them suffering is in the duality of “All or Nothing.” They are either discouraged from moving forward or pushed to injury by doing so.

According to the voices, everything needs to be absolutely perfect or “why bother?” which is a wonderful trap they use to create stuckness. Why write a book? Everything’s been said before. Why work toward environmental progress? It’s too far gone. Why focus on world peace? You have no idea where to begin. Why care about social injustice? You’re just one person.

Or my clients move beyond all questioning and are trapped in their day-to-day business. Rush, rush, rush. Everything on their lists is so important that there’s no time to focus on their nutrition, physical fitness, relationships, families, sleep, or meditation. Their minds are constantly racing, creating stress, bad/incomplete communication, sloppy performance, distraction, competition, fear, and isolation. Until eventually something needs to give and it typically does in an unfortunate way.

So ultimately I get asked the question, “Should we allow life to lead us, go with the flow, and just let go? Or should we work very hard, push and make results happen?” Basically, should we be passive or active?

And therein lies the trap of “All or Nothing”: A failure to be in the moment to see what is required. Because if they were to look to the moment, they would see that there are times to work really hard and there are times to rest and rejuvenate.

During a big retreat at the monastery, all the monks were on “high alert.” We were tending to all the endless guest needs, cooking for the masses, running around to have everything perfect, and facilitating the workshops day and night. On an away retreat, I was doing all of these things at once! But after all of the retreatants had gone home and when everything was finally cleaned up, the monks would have a day to themselves called “Holy Leisure.” We would meditate, take long hikes to the creek, do yoga, and tend to personal needs like cleaning our hermitages.

As I look at the process of participation in the world, I see that getting involved in our heads is the biggest of all dilemmas: Either trapped in stuckness or self-forgetfulness. What is required is to take the necessary steps now. Steps that exist in the real world with real people, not the imaginary ones between our ears – to stay out of our heads so we can allow our hands and hearts to do the necessary work. Not to perfection but, like the lungs breathe air and the heart pumps blood, because we were meant to.